Dear Computer…
Dear Computer…
I gave you life. I built you from custom parts. I knew very little of computer construction but I did my homework, and learned how to make you. My friends just bought that Dell crap, but I wanted you to have a personality and some power. I gave you everything a computer could ever want; power, two giant monitors, and all the illegal pirated software I could download.
So why did you BETRAY ME!!!!!!
This video is due in the clients hands (well, projected on their wall) at 6pm tomorrow, and I had intended on finishing it by midnight, and then getting some studying and sleep in.
But you had to fuck everything up, eh?
Why would you just shut off. Well? Huh? The experts will say that you had some bad sector in your hard drive that now means that you can no longer boot into Windows, but they are wrong. You did it out of spite.
As we both know, I got this pretty little laptop, and just because it’s skinnier and younger than you, you had to through this stupid bitch-fit and eat all my project and refuse to boot up after I did many, many hours of work on you. Now I have to start from scratch, making me pull my second all nighter in… well, two nights.
This was not a technical error, and you know it. YOU ARE A VINDICTIVE FUCKING COMPU-BITCH! Why put me through this. You could have died last week when I was looking at the stupid Chris Crocker video on YouTube… you could have passed away peacefully the week before while I was downloading that new iTunes song… But no… you died at the absolutely least convenient time for a computer to die in the history of my owning you. I’d rather you have died the week I built you, so that you wouldn’t take my pictures of college memories into the digital abyss with you.
I’m going to fix you… I’m going to breath life in to you once again, and then give you the worst virus you can ever imagine… I’M GOING TO MAKE BLUE SCREEN ERRORS SEEM LIKE A PEACEFUL MASSAGE!!!!! AAAAAHHH!!! Why? Why?????
You team-betraying fucktard. I hope you go to computer hell and are forced to have some jackass play nothing but solitaire on you for the rest of computer eternity. I hope you go to the same level of computer hell that they send spyware servers and spam generators.
I hate you…
with every fiber of my being…
You ruined the start of my carnival week, and that is unforgivable…
If you ever come back, I’m loading your iTunes with nothing but Sisqo.
